tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-150330670763411875.post2612647394567734741..comments2023-05-11T02:41:59.569-07:00Comments on COWABUNGASRISHTI: BHARAT STORYUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-150330670763411875.post-67155515066387160262010-02-18T23:33:05.669-08:002010-02-18T23:33:05.669-08:00Intro is good.
First para in Flashback must be an ...Intro is good.<br />First para in Flashback must be an interlude (the pre-intro intro)<br />The factory is another good page. It's mystery.<br />Plausibility of the 3 landing up there without a plan is weak.<br />The buildup is good but the red gleaming eyes is weak - how else to do this other than this cliche that is in keeping with your mysterious build up?<br />Do you want the monsters to appear? Then the game of leading the reader by the nose is up!<br />Read Henry James "Turn of the Screw" to understand how to build up tension whether or not the monster is there - it is psychological tension that is built up.<br />How can they feel that they are being chased without showing monsters? This is your challenge?<br />Introducing the prophecy is a good hook at this point.<br />Who is this voice? What is his nature? Why would he be destroyed? What was his sin? Think about all this too.<br />The end is a good loop as he imprisons them and you are back to the beginning.<br />Try it out visually after resolving some of the issues we have looked at.elf_asurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14150005989299987267noreply@blogger.com