Thursday, February 11, 2010

Neeti: Log Line & Story (1st draft)

Log Line: A boy and a girl going through their mundane sunday bump into each other and like each other.

Nina sat on the couch watching television. It was a lazy Sunday morning. Her flat-mate was out and now her only company was Sushi, her flat-mate's cat.

She watched some boring soap and sipped her coffee. She kept it on the “hand” of the sofa, a terrible habit. The cat came slowly and purred against her legs and Nina got startled. In the process she flung her hand and her hand hit the coffee mug.

It fell. To Nina it all seemed like it happened in slow motion.

For a second she didn't react. She sat there watching the coffee spread across the floor and Sushi was contemplation sniffing the coffee. Suddenly she realised she had to clean the mess. Thank god it was a steal mug and all she had to was get some tissues and clean it all up.

She looked around and there was no tissue paper in sight. She slumped back and looked at Sushi. The little critter was busy licking the coffee.

Nina continues staring at the cat, and then suddenly picked her up with both her hands...looked her in the eyes (they were face to face) and said, “It's your fault. You will help me clean up this mess.”

Nina got up with Sushi still in her hands and bent down to the little pool of coffee.

And before the cat knew what was happening...her soft white fur was brown and sticky. Nina had mopped the mess with the cat!

Sadistic pleasure was written all over Nina's face. She let go of the cat and the poor cat ran in towards the window.

Nina picked up the remote and continued watching tv, when she realised mopping the floor with the cat hadnt been completely useful. The ants would want their share.

She needed to get some paper towels, phenol if she wanted the house to be clean when her flat mate returned.

She sighed, picked up her i-pod and grabbed some money. She walked out of the door.


She stood in the aisle trying to figure out which tissue to buy. Too many options. She quickly picked up a brand that was on discount and walked towards the billing counter.


Yash sat on his bed, with a huge pile of books on one side table. His night lamp was on his bed as he tried to fiddle with the batteries of his ancient Gameboy.

He put a new set of batteries and chucked the packaging on the floor with the old batteries.

He slumped back on his bed and positioned himself comfortably with his pillow.

He switched on the Gameboy and the light from the screen reflected on his face. He smiled!


He sat with one leg crossed over the other and started working on changing the settings furiously.

His concentration was distrubed by a voice from down the hall. “Yash go to the super market and get me some chicken and room freshner. I need it now.”

Mom! Not now, I'll do it later.”

His mother came to the door, popped her head in and said, “Yash please go now. The guests are coming in the evening.”

He looked up and grumbled and got off the bed.

He walked out of the house, with the Gameboy still in his hand. He walked a few steps and started the game.

The screen flashed, “Level 1”.

And then it started....The first brick came down, and the announcer in his head went of.

And your first brick is.. (shape).. Whaaaat will you do?”

Excellent. Next on the way is .. (shape)..”

The announcer in his head wet off and now till the game didn't get over he would stop.

Yash continued walking with different announcements happening in his head.


An aisle with so many shelves. Yash had no clue where to find the room freshener. The aisle looked never ending and with only one person at the end of it, this was almost like being in a labyrinth. HE walked ahead and suddenly noticed the room freshener. He grabbed it and made his way to the billing counter, struggling to hold the chicken,room freshener and the Gameboy.


Nina was walking home as fast as she could. She was just a short distance from her house. When she just stopped.

Crap! I forgot to get the phenol. Uggghh! I better go back”.

Yash had brown paper bag in his hand and he walked with his arms hugging it. He thought he'd play some Tetris on the way back home as well.He kept walking while trying to maneuver the gameboy. He was concentrating really hard.

>>Need to write the part where they meet, post the super market.

1 comment:

  1. If you are talking of just two people meeting randomly, it is hardly interesting.
    Refer Last Tango In Paris where two people meet randomly but then all hell breaks loose.
    So establishing two characters, and bringing them together in itself, is not a story.
    Perhaps you should just bring them together fast and then bring in rising action to a heavy climax.